Quarantine Day 17: How long will this last?

Here I am reporting from Treviso, Italy. The heart of the Europe hell fire. Whatever is happening right now is still growing. Today Conte announced that also restaurants and bars are further closed (after he has previously closed down gyms, museum, and any sort of public gatherings.

I am writing this blog hoping maybe that it will clear my head a bit or give me smoother and resting sleeps. I haven’t been sleeping well. I assume it comes with knowing what might happen to all of us in the North Italy tomorrow. Me and my husband have slightly lived a staycation since last Sunday as we have only left home for important business, and those trips were mostly done individually done by Tommy.

The first week of the coronavirus I got a cold returning from Rome. I was so panicked that I literally looked at my temperature every hours. Then I lived a dilemma, I either was going to leave everything behind, call the Coronavirus emergency services to come test me. Then it hit me, “ What about Tommy? What about all my friends, They will quarantine all of my friends. How could this happen to me? Where could I have caught it? I clean all the time and all the surfaces. HOW?” Closer to having a panic attack, feeling my heart beat out my chest Tommy calmed me down. We tracked my temperature which never went above 37 and I did not have a dry cough. Fine. I wasn't going to die.

Just a few hours ago though I again figured out that still I could. As if in the Veneto region people don’t stop going out 12 million Venetians would be dead by 14th of April. I feel like as humans we are doomed to fight or die for other peoples mistakes. Why must I face death at 26 years old because a 70 year old man, no matter how many times he has been warned still goes out to his local bar every single morning to take his morning coffee? See what I mean?

You could say I am selfish, or you could say I care too much. It does suit both the assumptions. I am selfish because I want to live, I want to get back to my normal life and do the daily things I do, not asking much. I also do care too much because I am willing to sacrifice all I have so that as a country, as a world we can all come out of this shitty situation of COVID-19 and walk freely very soon.

My days are passing with reading, watching TikTok, because why not? I am not yet old enough to be judged by being on it. Cooking, which I seem to do a great job not wasting any food and trying to balancing our diet and lastly, since all our gyms are closed, I am not doing too bad finding the motivation to workout each day at home. I am writing this at midnight as I no longer have to think about waking up early to have a plan because I have no plan. Hopefully, dear reader in north of Italy, you don’t either so we can all live. Goodnight x